Baby Ruth

Every Friday morning I go with my Mom to a local church to get free bread. We are talking about one to two boxes filled to the rim with all types of breads. Occasionally we hit the jackpot and get Pan Mexicano, Doughnuts, French Bread, Gourmet Breads, Muffins, Wheat Tortillas, well you get the picture.

Most of the people that go to this bread extravaganza are about my Mom's age 65 to 160 or 170. I have met some very nice people and some not so nice but most if not all of them are funny. Usually there are between 17 to 25 people (regulars) the youngest being me at a mere 48 years. I am not eligible for bread, but once in a while they throw me a "bone" for helping Mom with the transporting of the goods. Just call me "Coyote."

Being typical Mexicans, my Mom and I have nicknames for the volunteers or employees, I am not sure which, of course "they" don't know they have a nickname but we do. There is volunteer I call "Bimbo" like the Mexican bread, he is very corpulent and always has his tongue sticking out of his mouth, as if in very deep thought, but only when he is passing out bread, or arranging bread in the boxes. I have never seen him bend down to pick anything up off the floor, maybe he is afraid he cannot get back up once he goes down, but it is fascinating to see him avoid that small task.

There is a frequent flyer customer, I call "El Mayordomo" because he never sits down to chat or visit with us little people. His clothing is impeccable, starched jeans and shirts, lots of Aqua Velva or that Karate stuff. There is always a very pungent smell emitting as he and his smelly stuff "wafts" into the room. He likes to inspect the bread delivery and ensures all the boxes have approximately the same amounts of breads per box, and noses around to check that everyone has checked in appropriately. Oh yea, and sometimes he comes in selling tamales and drinks. Oh yes, and he is missing all but two teeth.

Today I met one of my Mom's friends, she is a hoot. She was telling us how she loves to flirt, (believe me she did not have to tell me, that woman CAN flirt), she is very cute about the way she does it. Her name is Ruth, she is about 87 or 90 I am not sure and still healthy and strong, very black dyed hair and also enjoys spraying or marinating in perfume. Well during the course of her telling us about her love of flirting she mentioned she met a nice older man (older than her?), and he asked her what her name was. She coyly told him she had a beautiful name and if he brought her a drink, she would gladly tell him her beautiful name. Upon returning with her drink she informed him her name was "Baby Ruth" just like the candy. She stated that after a while the gentleman, who was across the room, yelled out to the following, ' Hey BUTTERFINGER you want another drink? '

How funny, I look forward to my Friday morning bread runs and I am eager to meet more and get acquainted with the rest of the geriatric Bread Winners.

Hum?? I wonder what they call me and Mom?